What I Hope My Kids Learn When I Slow Down

Ugh, winter. The season where we sprint through December like it’s an Olympic event, convinced everything must be finished, wrapped, baked, attended, and magically joyful before winter break hits.

I don’t get sick often, but when I do, it’s never just a cold. It’s more like a domino show. Catch a cold, lose sleep, and suddenly my asthma decides it would also like to participate. One small thing tips over and the rest comes crashing down. My body does not ease into chaos. It commits.

Recently, I was talking with a friend about self-care. She was genuinely excited because she had showered, brushed her teeth, and done her hair. She proudly announced she had “taken care of herself.” And listen, I love that for her, but also… that’s basic hygiene. Necessary? Yes. Revolutionary? Not exactly.

That conversation spiraled into a book recommendation from someone she knows. We laughed when we realized the entire premise boiled down to this: laziness isn’t real. Doing anything for yourself counts as self-care. And honestly? That hit harder than expected. Maybe we’re not lazy. Maybe we’re just exhausted and living under unrealistic expectations.

Which brings me to today.

The Christmas chaos is over. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, birthday parties squeezed in for good measure. The calendar has finally exhaled. And now, for the first time in weeks, I can focus on myself and maybe, just maybe, kick this cold. I keep repeating the same mantra like a stubborn spell: rest is not laziness… rest is not laziness…

I want my children to grow up knowing that self-care matters. Not just for themselves, but for future relationships too. I grew up watching my mom take incredible care of everyone around her while quietly neglecting herself. No one ever gave her permission to rest. No one told her it was okay to choose herself sometimes.

I’m grateful that my husband has always supported rest, even when I struggle to allow it. Because unlearning hustle and guilt is hard. Rest doesn’t come naturally when you’ve been taught your worth lives in how much you do.

So I rest anyway. Slowly. Imperfectly. Out loud. Because if my kids learn anything from this season, I hope it’s this: caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

And yes, modeling rest is also modeling care.