Chaos, Anxiety, and Trying Something New

I almost don’t know where to start. About a month ago, my husband and I decided to get evaluated for ADHD. We have two kiddos with ADHD and one on the spectrum, and while it’s easy to spot our kids’ traits in ourselves (or maybe just traits we like to blame on them), it got us wondering about… us.

I’ve been on a journey for years trying to help my kids make sense of the world and navigate life with their neurodivergent minds. Somewhere along the way, I started noticing a weird little current running through my own body. When I see a doctor and they ask, “Rate your anxiety from 1–10,” I’m like… um… is this a trick question? My “normal” is functioning while anxious. I am never not anxious. Every day is a balancing act, making sure I react in ways that make me feel like a decent parent, partner, and friend.

Then comes the classic, “How is your anxiety affecting your daily life?” Oh, let me count the ways… Actually, everything seems fine. Kids are fed. Laundry is done. Life is technically functional. Anxiety? Sure, but nothing’s exploding—yet.

And then there’s the ultimate question that always trips me up: “What do you do for fun? Any hobbies?” I proudly list: painting, scrapbooking, hiking… and then it hits me. I haven’t actually done any of them in years. The thought of pulling out my paints, creating something, and cleaning up afterward now feels like an Olympic event I’m not trained for. Just saying it out loud makes me cringe.

It’s not that it’s hard—I could do it—but this is my reality. For years, I’ve been taking anxiety meds that… well, help, but clearly aren’t enough. I’m still managing life, still managing my reactions, still managing my mental checklist.

So, as of today, I’ve decided to try an ADHD medication in hopes of easing some of the anxiety load—and maybe reducing my anxiety meds along the way. It’s going to be a journey, but I’m genuinely looking forward to it.

I’d love to connect with other parents navigating similar paths. Drop a comment, share your story, or just say hi. We’re in this together—chaotic, anxious, and all.